Gathered Up (Capacity Pt.12)


Gathered Up (Capacity Pt. 12)

You have to do what you think you have to do. You have to become what you haven’t been. Learn how to be while in the state of being. That is to say, so to speak, find the change while remaining the same. Right? No? Maybe. Look, I was born into a scavenger’s life. I just gotta get better at it. I need some new tricks. I need to be more of a gull than a vulture. Does that make sense?

 I’ve never been in so deep. If you get down too low, you get lost.

*

You have any idea how much it costs to be me? Or even how much it costs to be you? Life comes with a price tag and living well only adds to the bottom line. And sometimes when the night is slow I go back to my calculations. Or sometimes I just think about the limits of the sea. I let my mind wander to the coast. Think of those birds swirling above. Think of what went below ages ago. My mind is always focused on wrecks. Where there is something broken there is something that can be fixed. Well, something that can be used to fix something else. Or at least there’s always that trash/treasure cliche. You know the one.

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Oh, Don’t Do That (Capacity Pt. 10)


Oh, Don’t Do That (Capacity Pt. 10)

Look, there are just some things you’re not supposed to do or talk about. At least, that’s what I’ve been told. My momma tried to raise me right. But, sometimes I do stuff and talk about stuff and talk about doing stuff. I commit a trifecta of taboos.

Look, I shouldn’t even be talking about the capacity but I have to. How can’t I? How can anybody act like we’re not closing in on the day of the blackout. How can people act like they don’t see the roving brownouts? Why isn’t anybody going apeshit over CapCorp Tower 2? Oh, but I’m not supposed to talk about it? And, I’m damn sure not supposed to be drinking on it.

And, you know what, for being a drunk I don’t make a lot of mistakes. I’m pretty good about keeping it calm. Staying chill is sort of my thing but when I go home after a night of drinking, I find myself looking up some stuff. Looking at some stuff I shouldn’t be. I’m not embarrassed about it even if I shouldn’t be doing it. I’m thinking about my future and maybe getting some pleasure out of it.

I like looking at parts. I do a lot looking for spares. I’m a bit of a scrapper and that’s not cool around here. This town doesn’t like us rusters and scrappers always thinking about the good old pieces that might fix this brand new world.

There’s something scary about the new. I’m no sentiment wanker. I don’t fantasize to nostalgia in the wee hours of the night but I’m a collector. What if I have to fix something myself? Imagine the joy I get every time I think I found the right piece?