At Sea (Capacity Pt. 15)


At Sea (Capacity Pt. 15)

Sometimes a town is like a boat or maybe I just like boats so let me share a little something I jotted down awhile back when I still jotted down some stuff.

At Sea

Composure kept for the good times can’t be held together as one loses another. The strength now become multiple singulars is outnumbered by factors beyond control. By elements finding new directions from which to attack.

*

How awake is one when closest to fears of the end? Or, is it instinct as close as one gets to the subconscious, underworld, underside of the psyche? The mind? Stuff of the Self?

*

There’s always something to be afraid of. More to fear than thought brought to mind.

*

Crests fall as rain continues. A captain is not known for boosting confidence. Only for commanding emotions to be set aside for necessity of task. For need of one and other intertwined in microcosm of a vessel alone at the whim of water and weather and life incapable of being anything other than what they are – untamed but built for the life being lived. Ready only for instinct and adapting as seamlessly as it seems to outsiders. Observers.

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2 thoughts on “At Sea (Capacity Pt. 15)

  1. Hiya, I offer critique on WordPress so as to spread a little love and also give a bit more than the usual generalised comments. Take everything I say with a pinch of salt.

    “Sometimes a town is like a boat or maybe I just like boats so let me share a little something I jotted down awhile back when I still jotted down some stuff.”

    I don’t care if this isn’t in your story, it should be, haha.

    “Composure kept for the good times can’t be held together as one loses another. The strength now become multiple singulars is outnumbered by factors beyond control. By elements finding new directions from which to attack.”

    Okay. Let me go at this section.Your post caught my eye because I am a little obsessed with Gertrude Stein and I feel like your writing has an essence of her. The long, dragging nature of that first sentence is quite powerful. I think it throws me off so much because I can’t really understand what you’re saying, but that doesn’t matter, because the sentence itself is quite evocative.

    Composure kept for the good times, okay, yeah, I get that bit, then “can’t be held together as one loses another,” I struggle with. I think this is intentionally so, and therefore, I actually love it.

    “multiple singulars is outnumbered by factors beyond control,” again, little to no idea what this means, but it sounds excellent. Multiple, singulars and outnumber: love that play on words, it makes it seem much less like you’re throwing around big words and that this is at least a little considered. When you contradict the scientific language with “control” and “beyond control” you have a lovely stanza, passage, paragraph, chapter, whatever.

    Naice.

    “There’s always something to be afraid of. More to fear than thought brought to mind.”

    Just cool. Not much I can say about these lines. Thought/brought is great.

    “For need of one and other intertwined in microcosm of a vessel alone at the whim of water and weather and life incapable of being anything other than what they are – untamed but built for the life being lived.”

    That’s a great sentence. Painfully long, but rightfully so. There’s so much melody to these words. One and other, vessel alone, water, weather, life, other than what they are…yes. It all goes well together.

    I think a piece of writing like this at any greater length than what you have here would become insanely frustrating after a while. I have to go to quite some length to make sense of each bit appropriately before moving on.

    This is not a bad thing, and it is late, and I am tired, so you know.

    Good stuff, really good.

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