Carry On (Capacity Pt. 9)
Sometimes you wake up into those bad days. Those terrible days and you know you can’t go on. You must go on. You think all your Beckett thoughts while living in a Gogol world. All you can do is carry on and even the burden of you own head feels like too much. Thoughts weigh more than one ever considers.
I’m hungover. I usually am. I’m coming off of some bad news but that’s how it goes. Nothing much goes my way so I drink. It’s not a cure but sometimes it just works.
Anyway, today I find myself or I lose myself in the aisles. I need something. I probably want some stuff too. I at least need toilet paper. I can go without eating for awhile but sooner (as in right now) or later, nature will call and I’ll have to go. The bowels will never kowtow to depression. Believe me. I know. Also, beer doesn’t help. I mean, it did last night but now it’s after noon and the coffee didn’t do me any favors either in the downstairs department.
I tell you, every time I come here there’s one less thing I’m looking for and one new thing I don’t care about. Jesus, sometimes I just want it darker. Don’t let me see anything just give me what I need and let me pass away.