is tributary
to pond
beginning at each
individual petal.
Reflection
evaporates
with ripples
From his name
being skipped
across the surface.
Now, beside
the water,
two disembodied
unrequited
weep.
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is tributary
to pond
beginning at each
individual petal.
Reflection
evaporates
with ripples
From his name
being skipped
across the surface.
Now, beside
the water,
two disembodied
unrequited
weep.
Gorgeous ending!
“reflection evaporates with ripples from his name being skipped across the surface” Oh, how his name resounds across the waters! This poem speaks volumes. XLNT!
Wonderful. So much in so few words.
This is one good line followed by another. Excellent write!
http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2011/10/02/two-yearning-heart/
Great write soo sad too. Thanks
beautiful.
What a wonderful ending.
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/10/03/memories-and-photographs-of-you/
clever piece of writing.
Thanks for sharing.
I love the flow of this.
Oh Yes Unrequitted love is the most painful feeling to exist…. it burns you from inside while you keep on smiling… I liked your lines…
‘From his name
being skipped
across the surface.’
Thanks for sharing and for joining in the Poetry Picnic … Look forward to your posts on “Friends, Relationships and every one around..” next week …
Shashi
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/10/whispers-love-and-loss-butterfly.html
I love your poetry. Do you have a chapbook or…???
No, I do not currently have a chapbook but I hope to publish something soon -possibly via createspace or lulu.
Hi. I also like ‘his name being skipped across the surface’. Jane
much motion & reflection (both water-type and 2-things-unjoinable-type like peter and his shadow) stressed in line breaks/ structure and simplicity.
sudden stillness at the end really expressive/evocatively emotional.
love the kind of flow you’ve achieved.
nice.